Authorities Shift Blame as Over 1,000 Adopted Children Return to Care

The breaking point for Verity came after a series of traumatic events involving her adopted son, Liam, which included threats with knives and a wrongful arrest stemming from false accusations.

Her husband, Ian, recalls a moment when Verity expressed her despair to a social worker, asking, “What if we just can’t do this anymore?” Without hesitation, the social worker warned, “You’ll face prosecution for child abandonment.” This couple’s experience is part of a troubling trend that a recent investigation has uncovered.

During a comprehensive six-month inquiry, it was revealed that Verity and Ian are among 50 parents who have shared their harrowing stories of having their families fractured, resulting in their children being returned to care.

The investigation has exposed a concealed reality where parents are often mischaracterized and held accountable by authorities throughout the UK. They face immense challenges while caring for children who have endured trauma, abuse, and neglect before their adoption.

Many parents describe feeling coerced, threatened, and driven into mental health crises. One teenager who returned to care lamented that, with better support, his family might still be intact. This narrative is underscored by the warning that the following content addresses sensitive topics, including suicide.

The inquiry utilized an exhaustive Freedom of Information request, revealing that over the past five years, more than 1,000 adopted children in the UK have been returned to care. This figure significantly exceeds that of a recent government report, and it is likely just the tip of the iceberg, as only a third of local authorities reportedly track this data consistently.

One couple characterized this situation as a “national scandal,” asserting that the current adoption framework is “not fit for purpose.” The investigation has also highlighted several alarming findings:

• Nearly 25% of adoptive parents interviewed indicated they had been taken into police custody due to allegations of abuse from their children, which were later disproven.
• A whistleblowing social worker disclosed a prevailing culture of blame directed at parents when adoption issues arise, claiming they are “sold a lie” regarding post-adoption support.
• Research from Lancaster University indicated that 38% of adoptive parents had considered relinquishing a child back to care.

A spokesperson for the Department for Education commended adoptive parents for their dedication, stating they provide loving homes to some of the most vulnerable children. They added that while some placements can falter, support is available to help families remain united.

The department also mentioned plans to enhance support for families sooner through the Children’s Wellbeing and Schools Bill. However, neither the government nor the Local Government Association provided responses to inquiries regarding the threats and blame faced by parents.

Verity and Ian adopted their son Liam and daughter Lauren 15 years ago, when Liam was just two-and-a-half and Lauren was one year old. As Liam matured, his behavior became increasingly unpredictable and aggressive, marked by instances of throwing objects and shouting at his parents.

They later learned that prior to his adoption, Liam had been exposed to a home environment rife with domestic violence. Throughout Liam’s upbringing, Verity and Ian attended seven parenting courses, which they felt unfairly attributed the blame for Liam’s behavior to them, despite the underlying trauma being overlooked.

They fondly recall supporting Liam’s passion for dance, attending numerous competitions. Yet, they describe his teenage years as a “living hell,” during which they feared for their safety as he frequently threatened them with knives.

In a moment of despair, Verity drove to the coast with intentions of taking her own life, but a passerby intervened, ultimately saving her. On another occasion, during one of Liam’s outbursts, they called the police, as advised, only for Verity to be arrested after Liam accused her of assault.

“That was the worst experience of my life. It made me realize that we could no longer even call the police for help,” she reflected.

Though Verity was released without charges, both she and Ian understood they could no longer provide a safe home for Liam. They were acutely aware that the process of returning him to care would be fraught with challenges and intimidation.

Legislation across the UK allows for children to be taken into care, but local authorities require each case to meet specific thresholds, typically necessitating evidence of abuse or neglect. A local authority document described the couple’s home as “not a place where Liam feels loved and supported,” to which Verity stated, “The wording still implies blame on us as parents, which is simply not true.”

Ultimately, fearing for their daughter’s safety, Verity and Ian felt compelled to pressure the local authority into action. Through their attorney, they set a deadline, signaling that if they could no longer care for Liam, the responsibility would shift to the council.

While Liam was away working with a dance competition organizer, Verity broke the news to him. “She approached me and said, ‘I’ve just spoken with your social worker, and you can’t go home,'” he recounted. “Hearing that shattered my heart.”

Verity described the experience as traumatic and chaotic, stating, “We were forced to act this way, essentially making him homeless to prompt the local authority to respond properly.” Now 17, Liam has settled into independent living after several transitions and acknowledges his behavior but expresses regret that these events have impacted his definition of family.

He described returning to care as “the wake-up call” he needed. “I think if social services had managed their responsibilities better, and if we had been more proactive, perhaps the outcome would have been different,” he shared.

Social workers play a crucial role in each adopted child’s journey and often continue to support families for years. They are essential in identifying and assisting children at genuine risk.

North Yorkshire Council, responsible for Verity and Ian’s case, declined to comment on individual situations but acknowledged the significant challenges associated with adoption and pledged to provide “compassionate, practical support” when difficulties arise.

Damien Dobson, a specialist adoption solicitor, highlighted the heartbreaking decision some parents face when they can no longer manage or ensure their family’s safety, which leads to a legal abandonment of their child. In the last five years, he has assisted over 400 families, and he notes an increasing number seeking help.

Mr. Dobson criticized the outdated framework of England’s Children Act, advocating for local authorities to have the discretion to voluntarily accommodate children who are beyond parental control without the need to establish blame.

Verity and Ian were among the families who attended an event in Manchester hosted by Patch (Passionate Adopters Targeting Change with Hope), a group of adoptive families advocating for changes in the system. Jackie from Essex remarked, “Adoption is a lifelong commitment, and so must be the support we receive.”

Fiona Wells, a social worker and adopted child herself, founded Patch after facing significant challenges with her three adopted children. The group now boasts over 1,800 online members, with new families joining regularly in desperate need of assistance.

Many attendees no longer live with their adopted children, who have returned to care. Authorities categorize these situations as “disruptions” before the adoption order is finalized and “breakdowns” once it has been signed. However, even after a child returns to care, legal parental responsibility remains with the adoptive parents, who often keep in touch with their children.

Statistics from the Freedom of Information requests indicate that over 700 children were returned to care prior to an adoption order being signed, and more than 350 afterward. Each year, about 3,500 children are adopted, making these findings all the more concerning.

Professor Laura Machin from Lancaster University expressed that these revelations are shocking yet merely scratch the surface of a deeper issue. She noted that while government guidance mandates recording adoption disruptions, it fails to address breakdowns, potentially excluding children who return to care after finalization from official counts.

For those affected by issues surrounding adoption, mental health, or self-harm, information and support are available through dedicated resources.

Professor Machin’s research, which surveyed 512 adoptive parents, indicates that many disruptions and breakdowns could be prevented with timely and adequate support. She pointed out, “Funds are allocated when a child reenters the social care system, but it would have been more cost-effective to provide early intervention support.”

Numerous parents expressed a desire to voice their experiences but felt restricted by reporting limitations in Family Court proceedings. One mother, who preferred to remain anonymous as “Rachel,” shared that she and her husband were threatened with police action and misinformed by their local authority about relinquishing parental rights when seeking respite care.

Rachel and her husband claimed they were never briefed on their daughters’ extensive needs when they adopted them a decade ago. After a lengthy battle to obtain necessary support, they alleged that social workers deceived their children and spread misinformation among officials.

“It became evident that they had no intention of providing support, leading to a series of unpleasant insinuations and falsehoods. They seemed to dismiss our concerns by asserting, ‘They appear fine to us; thus, the problem must lie with you,'” Rachel recounted.

Matt, a pseudonym, and his family experienced years of violence stemming from his son’s severe behavioral problems. Following his son’s return to care, Matt took legal action against his local authority in Scotland for its failure to provide adequate support, invoking the Human Rights Act and the right to family life.

“The guilt and shame felt as if mourning someone who had not passed away,” said Matt. “It felt like an overwhelming sense of failure.” In an unusual turn, he received an apology as part of a settlement.

The settlement was reached outside of court, with the council covering the legal expenses. For Matt, the financial compensation was secondary to having the local authority acknowledge their wrongdoing.

The local authority expressed commitment to working with Matt and his family while apologizing for any shortcomings in support.

One experienced social worker, referred to as Sarah, revealed that every adoptive parent she encountered was assured of post-adoption support, but many felt they were “sold a lie.” She recalled her former tendency to blame the parents during adoption crises but noted that witnessing the rising number of breakdowns over the past decade changed her perspective.

Sarah acknowledged that social workers often struggle to listen to parents due to overwhelming caseloads, which contributes to a blame-oriented culture. The British Association of Social Workers stated that the social work sector is under significant strain, facing the highest referral rates in a decade alongside a dwindling workforce.

They indicated that a policy often prioritizes “care as a last resort,” resulting in decisions to remove children from their families being postponed until it is too late for proper planning.

Verity and Ian reflected on the initial assurances they received regarding their adoption of Liam, which assured them that love would be sufficient. However, they quickly learned that the reality was far more complex. “Love alone is not enough,” Verity stated. “We continue to love Liam, but it’s not the solution.”

Their relationship with Liam has improved since he entered care, yet they, along with numerous other adoptive parents, are advocating for reforms within the system. “Our children have gone through terrifying experiences and deserve appropriate treatment for their trauma,” stated Fiona Wells from Patch. “Ignoring their needs means we are failing to address their past adversities.”